Personal events of 2023

I am now aged 80 so it may be no surprise that over the last 60 years I have had lots of relationships with lovely ladies, four of which resulted in marriages. The ladies however all seem to walk away from me eventually. When that happens I do my best to ensure that there are no hard feelings. I have often managed to convert the relationship into a friendship.

And even in my frail old age, I still have 4 ladies who call on me. My ex-wife Jenny is a particularly strong supporter to me. We parted 30 years ago but were never far out of contact with one another. We dine together 4 nights a week these days.



And Anne, a girlfriend of long standing, eventually split up with me a few years ago after she found a bloke who suited her better than I did in some important ways. We remained in good contact, however. We spend every Saturday morning together. Her new bloke did not like that much but she didn't give him any choice. It is in a way a considerable romance that our feelings for one another have survived such a change in our circumstances. I am very fond of her and would gladly have her back if that opportunity arose.



And at the begining of 2022 I met Zoe, a lady of Serbian origin in her '70s.. In my memoirs at the end of 2022 I put up a lot of details of our times together. And I am pleased to note that, a year later, our relationship seems to have gone from strength to strength. We have had our ups and downs but she has clearly come to love me, which I see as a great privilege. I will always be there for her



And there is also a quite recent arrival in my life. Anna is actually one of the tenants in my house but we took to one another from the first time we met. So we now quite often have meals together. She is of Fiji Indian origin and is aged 35. The age gap is of course too large to have a relationship but we have become very good friends and I appreciate her companionship. As an 80-year-old it is a privilege for me to have a young and pretty face opposite me at dinners.

Note that Anne and Anna are two different people





So just a few excerpts below from my year, as written at the times concerned:



7 January, 2023

An Orthodox Christmas eve

Yesterday was December 24 in the Orthodox calendar. And Zoe was brought up as a communicant of the Serbian Orthodox church.

Having a Serbian girlfriend must seem rather exotic to people of British traditions and it certainly is different. Zoe and I went to one (Holy Annunciation) of the two Russian Orthodox churches in my neighbourhood last night. And an Orthodox service is MOST unlike anything familiar to an old Protestant like me

The thing I cannot get over is how everyone STANDS during the service. Only decrepit oldies like me are allowed to sit down -- on the sidelines. A Protestant service is mostly absorbed with everyone sitting down for most of the time. Standing must promoke good stamina among adherents of Orthodox churches. And they did a lot of bowing so that must have helped their stamina too.

And again there was no singing. A recent Seventh Day Adventist service Zoe and I attended featured about six hymns. I enjoyed that

So the service consisted of over an hour of chanting of devotional texts. The service was in fact in English but the chanted delivery combined with my poor hearing meant that it might as well have been in Russian for all I knew.

One thing I liked was that almost all the women wore head coverings -- as the apostle Paul commanded in 1 Corinthians 11. I remember the time when women in Western churches did the same but that seems to have completely fallen by the wayside over the years.

And the Orthodox service was accompanied by extensive use of "bells and smells". The censer was vigorously and often deployed. Catholics and High Anglicans do that too but it seemed pointless to an old Presbyterian like me, rather pagan in fact.

And there was a rude screen which was opened and closed at various times during the service. The Priest and his assistants were behind it most of the time and came out of there only during the communion part of the service. The actual consumption of the tokens presumably happened there. The congregation got only a view of the bread and wine, not an invitation to share it. At least they probably had real wine. Our Puritan Presbyterian practice of using unfermented grape juice is a bit of a disgrace

Anyway it was an experience. Let everyone find their own way to their God. I am merely an onlooker these days.

The service was attended by old friends of Zoe, Ana and Robert. Both are very nice people. So Zoe asked them back to my place after the service -- where she had party food ready for them. We mostly discussed religious differences between Western and Orthodox Christianity but it was a pretty jolly party anyway. Zoe kept referring to me as "him", but in a jolly way. Robert is of Catholic background but is making an heroic attempt to adapt to the Orthodox faith of his gorgeous Serbian wife. I was at their wedding a few months back.

Below is a picture of the happy couple from that time



We arrived at the church around 6pm and Zoe left my place for home at about 10pm



Late update:

Today was pretty good too. I had my usual morning with Anne wherein we varied our routine a little. I took her to the Gold Leaf cafe for brekky instead of our more usual haunts -- receiving an enthusiastic welcome from our little Vietnamese hostess. Anne had a Canadian breakfast and I had one of their very substantial cheeseburgers.

After breakfast we watched on YouTube a good Italian performance of Mozart's Zauberflöte opera sung in German with both Italian and English subtitles. I was struck by how much more elegant than the other two languages the Italian subtitles were.

Zoe had also asked to come over today so arrived at about 2pm in a very happy mood. It was her Orthodox Christmas day but I think her good mood was mostly traceable to our good Christmas eve party last night.

We went to Buranda for iced coffee and also had a Borek: Serbian food. We then did outings to Vinnies and Cashies. A Borek is totally aginst Zoe's dietary ideas so when I later challenged her about that, she quoted Oscar Wilde: "I can resist everything except temptation". As I am an Oscar Wilde fan she once again pleased me with her high cultural level

Saturday afternoon is not a routine time for Zoe and me to meet but we enjoyed it greatly anyway. She sometimes says things that I find memorable and she did that again today. As we were walking to the Buranda shops, she referred to the fact that we are both still enrolled without much effect on dating sites. She put her arm around me and cheerfully said: "John, we have one big thing in common: Nobody else wants us". Which is in a perverse way rather romantic. But we did have lots of laughs. She left for her home at about 5pm.

Then just after 6pm Jenny arrived with some good sandwiches to toast for my dinner. We had a long chat about various things over a cup of tea.

So how lucky can you get? I saw all three of my lady-friends in the one day!



26 January, 2023

A good day

Yesterday, Wednesday, was an unusually good day for me. It started out with a 9:30am brunch at the Cannon Hill Coffee Club with Anne. We don't usually meet on a Wednesday but the confluence of Anne's recent birthday and Australia day meant that Anne had a lot of social obligations and Wednesday was the best day for us to celebrate her birthday together. I gave her a card and transferred a money gift into her account as my contribution.

I had one of their flat grills and Anne had the big vegetarian breakfast. It is one of their most lavish offerings. My flat grill was overdone but I did not send it back, as is my custom. I don't like sending back good food. I just eat it.

After the meal we sat in the car and chatted for a while and then visited the nearby Vinny -- but did not find anything to buy.

Then at around 2pm Zoe arrived at my place. First up we visited the OpShop in Cavendish Rd, Coorparoo where they have many pretty things. But again we did not buy anything. We both have too much stuff already.

We then went to the Buranda Sushi train where we had a couple of plates each. We then went to the Kangaroo Pt Maccas for iced coffee and then home. Once we got back, Zoe prepared us a raw food meal as she usually does. After that we spent the rest of our time lying down. Between about 6pm and 6:30 Zoe went to sleep in my arms, which I liked.

Before she left however it was photo time. She is a real clothes-horse but has very good taste in my opinion so I often like to take a photo of her latest outfit.



So I saw a girlfriend and an ex-girlfriend all in the one day. I liked it! A good Wednesday.

Thursday

And today is Australia day so I have our distinguished flag flying proudly from the tall flagpole out the front of my house

During the day, one of my tenants spoke to me and said: "Long live the Empire". He was referring to the British Empire and noting that Australia Day marks the successful completion of a great Imperial project. His own heritage is Greek but he is a great student of history

Then, around 2pm, Zoe arrived. And she too is neither British nor Australian. She is a proud Serb. But she wanted to celebrate the day by eating out for lunch. Hence her earlier than usual arrival.

So I took her to Nandos where there is a meal -- Mediterranean salad -- that suits her diet. We spent most of the rest of the day under the airconditioning in bed and we again ended up in a close cuddle that led to her falling asleep in my arms for about half an hour. So that helped make a very good day from my viewpoint.

Then that evening I went over to Jenny's place for dinner where we had spring rolls and sweet & sour chicken. So I had two great days in a row.



21 February, 2023

Zoe goes to Asia

Zoe flew out of Brisbane last Sunday (19th) via Malaysian Airlines on her way to Kuala Lumpur. When she heard that her friend Sam ("the good Bond") was headed that way she asked to join him when he got to KL.

She went with some romantic hopes but what mainly moved her was the love of travel that is normal among women in their '70s plus the fact that she had never been to Asia and badly wanted to make up that deficit.

I have not so far got any texts or emails from her but I have already got a couple of Facebook messages. So that is good



6 March, 2023

She's back!

I was still half asleep at 7am in my bed yesterday when I heard some noises from nearby. I opened my bedroom door and there she was -- all clad in yellow. She had taken a taxi from the airport and I had left my front door open in case she arrived before I was up.





She had a lot to tell so we spent an hour talking before she went to bed in my guestroom at about 8am. She had not been able to sleep on the plane so was very tired. My previous night had been a bit disturbed too, probably out of excitement at her anticipated arrival. So I went back to bed for about an hour and a half as well.

She emerged at 11am and we went to Nando's for a brunch. We of course continued a discussion of her trip there, with quite a lot of mention of Sam, her travel companion who had dumped her in Laos. She has a very good sense of humour -- as I do -- so we are always laughing while we are together but Sam is much more sombre. She referred to him as "Stoneface". So I emerged in a very favourable light in comparison with Sam and Zoe told me there that I was "fantastic". A good homecoming! I eventually drove her home in mid-afternoon. We had some affectionate times together throughout. She was very warm to me as I was leaving

As I expected, it emerged that Sam was not wholly at fault in dumping her. He tended to walk ahead of her, ignoring her. So she eventually got impatient with him and kicked him lightly in the leg to get his attention. But he is 78 and not too good on his feet so that alarmed him greatly and he immediately went back to their hotel and moved out, leaving her to fend for herself. She has Serbian "inat" however so was not much fazed. Being very smart and very fit, she could look after herself pretty well

She greatly enjoyed Laos and took some trips around it while she was there. the Lao People's Democratic Republic is an unreformed Communist country so differs markedly from its neighbors and Zoe rather enjoyed the differences. She liked the absence of traffic jams and found the people to be very relaxed, which she admired. She also found tourist accommodation and other costs to be very cheap despite being of reasonable quality. The souvenirs she brought back were local craft products. The cellphone holder is made of bamboo and the purse features elephants, which Laotians are rather proud of



That Communist rule can have its attractions if you keep your head down is something I have previously noted about the former East Germany and the current Belarus. People tend to be more brotherly and friendly there, which Zoe admired

As is common after travel abroad she has come down today (Monday) with a cold but has found time to send me many messages

Update of Tuesday 7th.: She came over today between 2pm and 4pm for lunch and was still mentally processing her time with Sam. When she was explaining her dissatisfaction with him, she made a comment that rather amused me. She noted that she had travelled a long way across the world to be with him but despite that: "He didn't say one nice thing to me and I can't stand that!". I say lots of nice things to her.

She also says that at no time has he tried to touch her in any way, despite plenty of opportunity to so. He sounds rather schizoid in fact.



22 March, 2023

A family reunion

Jenny's daughter Yvonne and son Paul are back in Brisbane on holiday for a short while. Paul's wife Susan, son Matthew and daughters Elise and Primrose are also here. Jenny and I have been missing them all badly so it is wonderful to see them all again.

They arrived on Saturday morning so Jenny put on a breakfast for everyone, including Susan's famiy. It amused me a little to see both Susan's mother and stepmother together on the occasion. Both are lively ladies. Paul sat with me for most of the time as we have always enjoyed discussions about what constitutes wise behaviour. After a while, Ken also joined in, with Paul immediately disagreeing with him, as is their custom. Religion and morality was the main topic

Some pix from the occasion.


Paul's gorgeous wife Susan


My decrepit self flanked by two lovely ladies


Elise is very cuddly


Primrose is very feminine too

Then that night Jenny put on a smaller gathering for closer relatives, featuring a spaghetti dinner. I managed to get most of the spaghetti down but my clumsiness saw some of it end up elsewhere, to my embarrassment. I really tried to keep it all on track but it was not to be. Joe told us all a lot about his work and how his elevation to management level has given him the unpleasant task of firing one of the employees.

On Sunday morning, Joe, Jenny, Von and I went tothe "Chatterbox" at Mt Gravatt for breakfast. I had my usual there, a club sandwich

Then on Monday night Jenny, Yvonne, Joe and I went to the Burmese restaurant. I had the roast duck as usual and Jenny had the sizzling seafood, as did Von. Joe was not feeling very talkative but I managed to draw him into the conversation a couple of times.

Yesterday (Tuesday) was present day. Jenny again put on a great dinner featuring that family favourite, egg rolled pork. Susan brought out presents for Joe and me, featuring British foods that we don't see in Australia. Among many other things, I got some German rum, raisin and hazelnut chocolate by "Brenner" that went down particularly well

I didn't see them today as Wednesday is a day I always share with Zoe. She was a bit down in the dumps when she arrived but was in reasonably good cheer by the time she left. She is still thinking of buying a house on Lamb Island but seems to have decided against it on account of the midges there.

Update of 23rd., Paul's birthday: Jenny put on a party in her backyard with both sides of Paul's family present. Tim and Rachel were also there for a while with Liam, a classic little blondie boy. Jenny provided some very tasty kebabs plus a type of risotto. There were also two good Pavlovas.

Primrose took a fancy to Joe and wrapped herself around him in a display of classic femininity. I had undergone a urological procedure at the Wesley hospital that morning so was not very lively. So watching Primrose was a fun distraction. She is a very confident little girl

Update of 25th: We all went over to Joe's place on Saturday morning to look at his musical instrument collection and hear him play. He has reached the top grade in piano playing. Jenny brought over food for lunch for us all. Joe is definitely a collector. He has for instance two old pedal organs. Jenny and I both collect things so we did wonder for a while if he too would be a collector but what he in fact started to collect was a a surprise.

Joe did play for us for a short while but for most of the morning the piano was taken over by another very competent pianist: Matthew, aged 11. He even played us some Philip Glass, which we all were pleased to hear.

A few days before, I had for some reason recited half a dozen of the opening stanzas of the Latin poem "Stabat Mater" -- Stabat mater dolorosa juxta crucem lacrimosa -- and Paul immediately wanted me to teach it to Matthew -- as Matthew is learning Latin at school and likes it. So when we could get Matthew off the goanna I did go through the poem with him line by line and taught him the church pronunciation of it. It will be quite a party piece for him. It is one of mine. I guess it is a bit odd for an atheist like me to be teaching a work of Marian devotion but it is simply a good poem. And Pergolesi's setting of it is sublime. My favourite performance of the Pergolesi setting is below:



My comments on the performance here

I had a good chat with Susan at one stage, telling her of some good things I saw in both her girls -- including that I saw a bright future for Primrose. Susan is bright, beautiful and kind but is despite that not terribly self-confident so it is pleasing to both of us to see that Primrose has self-confidence by the bucketful -- a legacy from Paul



9 April, 2023

A busy Easter weekend

Zoe came over on Good Friday between 3pm and 8pm. There was a big storm at one time, which it was good to experience home dry and snuggled up

On Saturday morning I spent some time with Matthew getting him to learn some poems in German (die Lorelei) and Middle English (Chaucer). I also put on some good arias from Italian Opera for him

That evening was a big family dinner downstairs at Jenny's place. Jenny had an attack of Covid so stayed upstairs. Susan catered admirably, including a 3-part dessert. The kids were very amusing, particularly a certain little extravert

Now on Easter Sunday, I have just got back from a trip to Redcliffe and Scarborough with Zoe driving. We left my place at about 9:30am and got back at about 4:30pm. In a rare exhibition of tact, I wore the very colourful shirt that Zoe bought me in Laos.

Just about everything was closed up at Redcliffe but we got a couple of reasonable lunches at the Redcliffe Tavern: Calamari for me and fish n chips for Zoe. She also ordered some pumpkin soup to share, which was surprisingly good. I always leave ordering to her, as she is very particular about what she orders. I just hand her my card and sit down.


At Redcliffe Tavern in my colourful shirt

Afterwards Zoe drove around a fair bit looking at various places in the general area. I had not realized that Deception Bay actually is a bay with a beach of sorts. I knew it only as a reputedly low income suburb.

Eventually, we got to Scarborough, which was absolutely thronged with Easter visitors, but, with her usual amazing luck, Zoe got a parking spot just a short walk from the beach. She got in a good swim, her aim for the trip. I managed a small paddle but mostly sat in the shade and read my book of didactic short stories

One of the stories I read was How Much Land Does a Man Need? by Leo Tolstoy. It is a brilliant and very moral example of a short story

The day wore me out a bit so I lay down for a rest as soon as we got home. A little warm body clamped on to me not long after I lay down so I enjoyed my rest.

And tomorrow morning (Mon.) I see Joe for brekky, in lieu of our usual Sunday

Easter Monday update: I had quite a long talk with Joe this morning -- talking mainly about Trump, China and Zoe. I probably told him more about my little sweetheart than he really wished to hear.

And Jenny was recovered enough from her bout of Covid to join me tonight for dinner, together with Paul. We went to the Burmese. It was one of the few places open but we often go there anyway. So my Monday was pretty good too



3 May, 2023

A pleasant moment in time

It is very rare for any of our moments to inspire a record of them. Wordsworth went for a walk one day and saw some daffodils that he liked. He put that small happening into a poem and people have been reading about it ever since. So a moment in time can be worth recording.

I am no poet and have no thought that any of my moments will be of significance to others. But I do like to record some moments that will form happy recollections. There was such a moment this afternoon

I was expecting Zoe for her usual Wednesday visit. I was missing her and wishing she would arrive soon. And waiting for her was rather distracting. I could not concentrate on anything very serious. I expected her at her usual time between 3 and 4pm so at 2pm I distracted myself by going down into my garage to reorganize a big set of chairs I had acquired just days before. I was engrossed in that when I got a surprise. A voice came from the open garage doorway behind me. It asked, "what are you doing"?

It was not an utterance of any profundity but to me it was a very sweet voice I heard. Zoe had arrived early: A very pleasant surprise. That shock of hearing an unexpected sweet voice is one I would like to remember. I make no claim that it was a sweet voice in any objective sense but it was a sweet voice to me. I was very happy to hear it

We went on to have a late lunch at Nando's followed by a shopping trip to Coco's. We spent the rest of the afternoon together until about 6pm



26 June, 2023

Another very successful men's dinner last night

It was particularly successful because Graham decided to battle his health limitations and join us. He had to fly up from Melbourne. I originally put on the dinners to allow us to hear from him. JPH, Chris and Joe also joined us

The conversation was as usual something of a riot. We all enjoyed comparing notes about mostly political topics. Graham as usual had some good insights to offer. Something that I found very topical was his experience of families with transgender chidren. He said that in all cases the mother was a strong and dominant personality who was either a single mother or married to a unassertive husband. There should probably be a proper study of that

Another of his insights was so original that I have written it up on one of my political blogs:

https://pcwatch.blogspot.com/2023/06/the-rise-of-autism-diagnoses-of-autism.html

under the heading: "The rise of autism"

JPH told us a little about his recent travels in Italy and I was surprised to hear that Michaelangelo's David was roughly twice life-size.

Christopher was very knowledgeable about both history and current events and saw the present Leftist obsessions with both transgenderism and critical race theory as deliberate attempts to break down our civilization. Transgenderism is certainly an endpoint in Leftist attempts to undermine normal human relationships. Karl Marx hated the family and that lives on in today's Left.

I pointed out that critical race theory was a last ditch Leftist attempt to blame anyone but blacks for black failure. The theory demonizes whites but most whites seem unfazed by that and blacks like it so it probably nets the Left a few extra votes.

For the dinner I prepared my usual humble offerings -- savoury mince plus a mild curry. Graham provided cheese, cracker niscuits, grapes and some fruit wine. He stayed overnight and we had a simple breakfast of tea and toast before he left



17 July, 2023

Zoe has departed for her holiday in her native Srbia

Where she lives in Redbank Plains is a long way from the airport, which would make a taxi trip to the airport prohibitive. So I offered to pick her up from home early in the day so she could go from my place for her late night flight with Qatar airways. My place is fairly central. I don't like driving at night so she did take a taxi from my place to the airport

A slight complication was that I had a mid-afternoon medical appointment today. So I arranged to pick Zoe up at 1pm so I could easily meet my appointment. Zoa is very disorganized, however so it was 1:30 before we got away. As it happened, however, I had a number of holdups getting to my appointment but I arrived at exactly the appointed time. So it was fortunate that we got away when we did

Zoe accompanied me to my appointment and amused both me and the urologist by telling the uroogist that my prostate problems would all be over if I would only switch to a raw-food diet. She is incorrigible.

Qatar have a fairly generous weight allowance for luggage and Zoe made full use of it. To supplement that however she also put on three pairs of trousers and at least four jumpers -- all on top of one another. Lucky it is winter or she would have roasted. She is an experienced traveller, however so she knew what she was doing

I was aware of her exact departure time so I could imagine exactly where Zoe was when I heard a large aircraft passing overhead at that time

I will be keeping an eye on reports of plane crashes and hoping none involve Qatar. It seems to be a cut-price carrier so one hopes that maintenance is not compromised



5 September, 2023

A hug postponed 50 years

Around 1970 I was part of a social group that included an attractive lady I will refer to as KC, she was tall, smart, was very good humoured and had a good figure. I was sweet on her. Another male in our social group was, however, also sweet on her so I deferred to him and did not pursue the lady. I thought he needed her more than I did. He was in rather poor health.

And they did form a relationship until he fell in love with China instead. He went and lived there and married a Chinese lady. So she soon sought others and ended up the wife of a rather prominent person. He was a lucky man to win her. They have been together now for over 30 years.

So it is a long time since I have seen her. Rather wonderfully, however, another member of our old social group brought her over to see me today. We had some very lively chats. She was still the good-natured and good-humoured person of old. It was a great pleasure to see her.

As she was leaving, however, I gave her a hug, a hug I had never given her before, given the circumstances.



She and I used to be about the same height but I have shrunk over the years while she has not.



15 September, 2023

Medical Event

At age 80, I can reasonably expect some health problems. And I am no exception. I am at the moment battling two types of cancer -- SCCs in my upper body and metastasized prostate cancer in my lower body. Both are treatable. I underwent the first treatment steps today. I got an anti-androgen medication (injected Firmagon) for the prostate problems and a monoclonal antibody -- Cemiplimab --for the SCCs in my upper body.

Cemiplimab is an extremely expensive medication that has only recently emerged from clinical trials. The Australian government put it on the "free" list just in November last year so I am lucky to be getting it

Zora and Anne are both out of town but I am pleased that in my time of trial I have received affectionate messages from both of them -- and Jenny has stepped up to become my live-in carer

Saturday update: They talk about the luck of the Irish. I do have substantial Irish ancestry and some of that luck seems to have rubbed off on me. I went to the Wesley for my treatment, which is a major Brisbane private hospital. And it turns out that I was the first to get Cemiplimab there. It came on to the free list just in time for me to get it



6 November, 2023

Lunch with Anna

She wore her very smart black dress for our trip to the Buranda coffee lounge. I wanted a big meal so had Calamari but again she just had a cupcake with her chai. I couldn't eat all my chips so she helped polish them off. See her in the dress below

And below is the lucky man she went with

11 November, 2023

A Persian lunch

I wanted to treat Anne to a special lunch so I took her to the "Saffron" restaurant at Stones corner -- run by Zoroastrian Persians. As I usually do there, I ordered the combination platter for two, which was huge and impressive as usual: 3 different kebabs plus rice, salad and chips. Persians are masters at grilling meat

Lunch was 12 noon but Anne and I normally see one another for 9am breakfast so Anne came over around 9am anyway as we had a few things to discuss. While we were waiting for lunch, I put on a lot of Sibelius for her, which she liked



12 November, 2023

She's back

I wanted to take a pic of Zoe when she arrived back from Srbia two weeks ago but she caught a bad wog on the plane so has not felt up to being photographed until today





5 December, 2023

Dinner for 3

Anna has driven me to a few breakfasts at the Kangaroo pt. coffee shop. So she has met my friend Julie, who is there most mornings. When I was driving, I saw Julie there most Wednesdays over breakfast. She is around my age and hails from Gordonvale, just a short drive from Innisfail where I was born. So Julie and I have a huge amount of commonality in our backgrounds. And Julie is a very lively conversationalist so it has always been a pleasure to see her.

Anna noticed what a congenial person Julie is and suggested that it was a pity not to see her more often. So she suggested that I should invite Julie over for dinner and she would cook for us. And so it was done this evening. Julie was in her usual buoyant mood so the conversation flowed well Anna cooked us a meal of chicken, rice and vegetables in her own style which went down well. She is a good cook



25 December, 2023

CHRISTMAS

I gave both Anne and Zoe bouquets of flowers as Christmas presents. See below. The one for Anne was Christmas-coloured gerberas, quite unusual. But Anne helped me to pick it. I did not give Jenny flowers as she is getting other things. And I did not give Anna anything as she does not believe in Christmas presents. The fact that she is a Hindu might have something to do with that.


For Anne


For Zoe

Our Christmas lunch was between 12 and 3pm. It was a quiet affair, principally due to the absence of kids and grand kids overseas. Present were Jenny, Joe, myself and a couple who are good friends of Jenny. The principal food was ham off an actual ham and roast pork. Dessert was Pavlova. Neither Joe nor I talked much but others made up for that

Zoe paid me a visit between about 5pm and 8pm. Neither of us were hungry so we mostly just lay about. So I got some Christmas kisses and cuddles, which I enjoyed

Events of 2022 as recalled in January, 2023


2022 had lots of big political news but for me it also had big personal news. I actually fell in love! How's that for a man in his 80th year?

My partner Zoe originates from Serbia and is in her 70s. Below is my most recent picture of her



Another good picture:



Zoe and I met at the very beginning of 2022 and are still going strong into 2023. But if and when the romance ends, 2022 will still be a memorable year for me. It is of course particuarly rare and difficult for really old people to form new relationships. Large numbers of elderly people die alone. Zoe was referring to that difficulty recently when she put her arm around me and said: "John, we have one big thing in common: Nobody else wants us". She had a point.

It was not love at first sight but we did like one-another from the beginning and that soon deepened. The biggest surprise is that she and I are about as incompatible as it gets. I fail to understand her strong European accent a lot of the time and I am as unfit as she is super-fit. She jogs for miles every day and I walk only short distances. She is still pretty good-looking for her age while my looks break cameras these days. And that's just the start of our differences.

So compatibility is not all it's cracked up to be!

So what works between us? Hard to say definitively but I think it begins with us liking one-another. And we are both around top of the IQ range. She once said: "I used to go for handsome men but they are all stupid!"

I think the main influence that keeps us together is a principle I have always followed: If you find two good things in another person all the rest can be negotiated or adapted to. And the two things I particularly look for in women are a high IQ and a liking for classical music.

And my little Serb has both of those two rare qualities. She is even strongly moved by the music of J.S. Bach. That latter would mean nothing to most people but it is huge to me as I feel the same way about Bach. Mine are minority tastes but as an academic I am stuck with them.

We are also both high-functioning autistics so understand one-another's autistic behaviours when they emerge. The fellowship of the autistics is an unlikely concept but something like that does seem to work for Zoe and me at times. And aging does mellow one. At my age I have nothing to prove and no need to achieve. So I can just sit back and just enjoy a relationship for what it is.

Zoe also has a good sense of humor and a liking for kisses and cuddles. She often falls asleep in my arms and I like that.



Christmas 2022

On Christmas day, we just lay in bed talking for most of the time together -- with her doing most of the talking, as usual. She spent some time talking about Trajan, which is a pretty intellectual topic. I am myself interested in Roman history so I knew what she was talking about. She has a lot of intellectual interests -- principally in ancient history, European literature and clinical psychology, so, as I have noted previously We have shared high culture interests and that pleases both of us. When Zoe wanted to mock me as being idle (I am) she quite appositely referred to me as being an Oblomov, which is an allusion to a classic 19th century Russian novel.



Christmas eve

I have in the past often abandoned my pagan ways long enough to go to church on Christmas day. I did not do that in 2022 but I did go to a service on the preceding Saturday (24th) at a Seventh Day Adventist church. Adventist beliefs seem generally well founded in scripture so I enjoy an SDA service as much as the Presbyterian services I was brought up to.

On this occasion, Zoe wanted to go to a specific SDA church where some people are of Serbian origin, including the Pastor. She hoped to speak her native language with someone. I was happy to accompany her.

She has great difficulties with punctuality so I was doubtful that she would get to my place on time for us to get to the service at at 11am. But she did. She drove and got us to the church exactly at at 11am.

I thought the sermon was reasonable and I enjoyed belting out the traditional Christmas hymns. In the sermon, the preachrer outlined the pagan origins of Christmas but said that it was still a good time to celebrate the birth of Christ. I thought that was good theology. It was only the second SDA service I had been to and I noted something that had surprised me previously: No Bible readings. Very unusual in a Protestant service. Zoe did afterwards get her wish to speak in Serbian with the pastor



Food

Zoe has very strict food ideas, which we follow whenever we are at home together. She believes in eating only uncooked fruit and vegetables. There is some evidence that such a diet is good for you so I don't mind having that for a few of my meals

And Zoe does have her own preparation ideas for food. She does not cook but she likes to grate most of her food. That certainly helps a big lot of fruit and veg to go down. So she is a dab hand at rapidly grating lots of food. She was however getting a bit tired of all the grating so in November bought herself an electric grating machine. It's a bit like a juicer where you eat the pulp instead of throwing it away. Greenies would approve!

She brought the machine over to my place as she got it from the shop and proceeded to set it up for the first time. She recently did that with another machine she bought. She must feel that I can give her at least moral support if she has trouble putting a machine together. She does however have a degree in mechanical engineering from the university of Belgrade so does not seek my help initially. As it happens, the new machine was a bit of a puzzle to set up so I did make a suggestion that she found helpful.

Anyway, below is the initial dinner she put in front of me with output from her new machine.



It features grated parsnip. grated beetroot, grated carrot, chopped onion, chopped spinach, and chopped avocado. She chopped the onion in her machine too. It has a variety of cutters


The machine



"Down the coast"

Going "down the coast" is a frequent activity among Brisbane people. It refers to the drive of over an hour to get to the surf beaches to the South of Brisbane -- Surfer's Paradise etc.

I used to make that trip in my early 20s with some frequency but it is now around 50 years since that time. I am not an outdoorsy type.

But it was was Zoe's birthday and she wanted to go "down the coast" for it. So we went. She lived down there a few years ago so knows the area to some extent. She particularly wanted to go to the Q1 building, the tallest one there. She luckily got a parking spot just outside the building and I paid the $58 to get us to the observation deck on the 77th floor of it. Views don't come cheap.



But the views were indeed striking and the coffee and Tiramisu we had while we were there went down well.


The birthday girl on top of the world


Some scenery. Ignore the spotty guy in the corner

Some very good scenery

Zoe has very strict Vegan dietary views so the cake was a concession for her. Rather than doing any more dining at the restaurant she provided a picnic lunch for us, which we had in a shelter overlooking the water. It was very good and tasty, based on fruit and vegetables. She makes an exceptional apple crumble, which has long been a favourite dessert for me.

I paid over $100 to fill her petrol tank for the trip "down the coast" so that was rather striking to me too. It inspired the thought that people who go on motoring trips, particularly with mobile homes, have to have considerable funds for it. It is not a cheap holiday now.

On the drive home Zoe gave me an extended lecture in moral philosophy. She likes Erich Fromm's rejection of relativism. I said nothing in response but I was familiar with her topic. I have had a few academic articles on the topic published. See here

Zoe adheres to the idea of moral absolutes, which is perhaps the most frequently held view of the matter. Analytical philosophers normally regard such views as naive and I once did too. I have had second thoughts on it in more recent years however and conclude that there is indeed an objective referent that people have in mind when they use such language. See here



A remarkable day in July

There are three Serbian Orthodox churches in Brisbane and all 3 have a substantial following. Zoe is not a member of any of them and is not sympathetic to church doctrine. But they are a great gathering point for Brisbane Serbs and for that reason Zoe sometimes visits them. She likes to speak and hear spoken her mother tongue.

So she became aware that the Wacol church was having a BBQ lunch --to be accompanied by folk dancing and Serbian music. And two friends of hers -- Ana and Robert -- were going to be there and asked Zoe to join them. Zoe wanted me to accompany her so she came to my place first and then I drove us out to the church under directions from her.


Zoe dressed for the occasion

I was stunned. It was an enormous gathering. No Brisbane Protestant church could muster one tenth of the people at the Serbian church. There really were people everywhere.

For food I ordered raznici and Zoe ordered some sort of soup. When I lived in Sydney years ago I used to have raznici fairly often so it was with some regret that I found no restaurant in Brisbane that sold them. So today was a rare opportiunity. And they were very good. I was pleased to re-acquaint myself with them. Serbs usually make raznici with marinated pork so I assume that is what I had. They consisted of large lumps of meat barbecued on skewers and served with bread and cut-up raw onion. I would have liked some of the traditional kaimak with them but that did not seem to be on offer

A great feature of the gathering was the many beautiful folk costumes being worn by many of the women and children. They made a very colourful display during the folk dancing. The dances were very complex but performed with great precision -- rather like square-dancing without the caller



A "kolo" dance above, a dance in a circle. In Serbian kolo means a circle

When we left the BBQ after an hour or so I drove us to Zoe's house at Redbank Plains. I had not seen it before. It was a large brick house on a slab in a large yard and with a park over the road. So it was well situated. It was very crowded with Zoe's multitudinous possessions -- mostly books, CDs and DVDs

Video of one of the dances:





My birthday in July

At her usual eccentric hour of 4pm Zoe came over for lunch. She brought with her one of her impromptu pies featuring egg, potato and much else. It was both tasty and filling. She is a good cook

And her talents are not limited to cookery. She must be the most intellectual lady I have met. Our conversation after lunch was wide-ranging. She started out telling me something about Stefan Zweig's biography of Rilke. As it happens I had in fact read some of the poems of Rainer Maria Rilke -- in the original German -- but I doubt if I will ever meet another lady who would know of him. Zoe went on to mention William Faulkner, Rudolf Steiner, the pineal gland and Solzhenitsyn's last book. And she is always talking about history. And we have both read most of the major works of Russian literature. It was very pleasing to me to have a conversation with her at such a high cultural level. Definitely a good birthday present.

The present she bought me was a large solar-powered lamp. We are both rather into lamps

We already by that time had a very affectionate relationship and the birthday card she gave me reflects that





Living with Zoe

By the skin of her teeth Zoe managed to bypass the floods of early March and got over to my place via Ipswich Rd. But she could not get back. So she stayed with me until 4 days later. And even then it took her 2 hours to get home via various detours.

So we were suddenly living together for 4 days, something unforeseen by us both. We did have some frictions but we also had a lot of laughs so it all went reasonably well. She went home in a high mood.

While she was here, she had a field day bullying me into eating raw food (fruit and salads) for my meals. I didn't give in entirely however. I had sausage rolls from time to time to meet my need for junk food.

Being confined by the floods she didn't have much to do for a lot of the time so she unleashed a cleaning blitz on my place. Some places got cleaned that had not been cleaned for years, given my bachelor habits. She even cleaned my assortment of power boards



Some amusing bits

Zoe is a high-functioning autistic so lacks complete social sensitivity -- as I do. So we both at times say things that upset people without meaning to do so. What seems to us a simple statement of fact can sometimes be seen by others as derogatory. So it amuses me to mention three of the apparently derogatory things that Zoe has said to me over the last year. Here goes:

"You are cold like a snake"

"You remind me of my dog but my dog was better"

"You have skin like a toad"

You can't go much lower than that can you? But it was all innocent. In the first case she had just kissed me and was referring to the effect of the airconditioning blowing on my face. In the second she was trimming my beard and it reminded her of the trimming she used to do on the hair of her deceased dog, which she misses. In the third case she was referring to the rough skin on my arm that had resulted from my many encounters with skin cancer. She is in fact favourably disposed toward amphibians



A bonus picture of her

I thought she looked very chic in the recent photo below:

Remembering 2021


2021 was marked most strongly for me by personal events rather than by political or academic events. My semi-relationship with Anne changed just before the beginning of the year in that she no longer sleeps at my place for one night a week plus the following morning. I now see her one morning of the week only. She has for a couple of years had a new man in her life who is understandably nervous about Anne still seeing me at all. So Anne has placated him by seeing me for only that one morning of the week. She and I do however enjoy our time together as much as we always did. It is now a very affectionate friendship rather than a relationship. We were an item for 14 years and have now been in a semi-relationship for nearly two years.

In my early days with Anne

My ex-wife Jenny has however been very supportive of me in my semi-divorced state. She and I split up a quarter of a century ago but for all the subsequent time we have kept in touch and been supportive of one another. So when Anne moved out of my life, Jenny moved back in. We now dine together frequently. She still has feelings for me but wants only a strictly platonic relationship these days. So I have ended up with two very close female friends in my life, which is pretty good. Both are former lovers so that broadens the friendships concerned.

Needless to say, however,I would like a new, more orthodox relationship and have had some attempts at initiating that since the break with Anne nearly two years ago. I got quite close to a new relationship a couple of times in that there were two ladies (JD and JH) I spent some time with. But neither lasted. I still miss JD -- below

In my younger days, when one relationship ended I would be in a new one very rapidly. For example, I had a 4-year relationship with a very nice lady named Judy before Anne and I met.

Judy

And the very day after Judy moved out, I met Anne. And I met Jenny just two weeks after my arriving back in Brisbane after my 15-year sojourn in Sydney. And at one stage in my 50s I had simultaneously three girlfriends -- all of whom knew that they were not the only one in my life. I have a rigid rule that I never lie to women -- which can get rather wonderful results. It is wonderful what women will putup with for a man they like but one thing they will very rarely put up with is being lied to.

But now that I am 78, my physical attractivesness has diminished greatly -- and that greatly inhibits the formation of new relationships. See the current me below

So I am lucky still to have two former ladies in my life as close friends. I was still pretty good even in my early 60s -- see below -- but the current me is pretty wrecked.

Things are looking up however. I do have a new lady in my life at the moment who really seems to like me. But it is early days as yet so who knows where that will go?

My first girlfriend -- way back in the 60s -- and I had a good relationship that we never really ended. She was only 16 so after around a year together we were pushed apart by her father. A couple of years after that she moved permanently to France. We kept in some contact by mail over the years however and in 2021 we began to correspond frequently. As part of that she sent me a picture of herself in the 70s that I really like. It is below. I think you can see that she was quite a gal



So we have a friendship that has endured for over 50 years, which is pretty good. It was of course a big point of our correspondence to see if we still could have congenial conversations with one another. A lot can change in 50 years so would we still get on with one-another? We did. But we also saw that we were clearly different in some ways from our old selves. An interesting thing that we realized is that we both have some autistic tendencies. That area of similarity was/is probably a major source of our original and present compatibility. I have written about my own autistic tendencies here

The other notable event for me in 2021 is that I got a dangerous visitation from stomach cancer. I lost a lot of weight and it went close to killing me but immunotherapy pulled me back from the brink and the cancer has now completely gone. Jenny was hugely supportive during my illness.

And my rehab is now just about complete. I am back to my normal sedentary self: healthy but very unfit. I still take no pills other than a nightly sleeping pill (temaz) and an occasional aspirin for a stiff neck. I rarely even take analgesics after surgery. If the plastic surgeon gets a good closure, healing should be well underway by the time the local wears off. I have also cut back my alcohol consumption -- now a very occasional glass of wine with dinner and just one whisky and dry before bed.

The COVID-related restrictions in Queensland were very mild so restricted my daily life very little. The border closures did however grievously prevent reunions with friends and family from interstate and overseas

So politics have these days made way for the personal in my life.