Personal: December 2021

Thursday 16 December 2021

Remembering 2021

2021 was marked most strongly for me by personal events rather than by political or academic events. My semi-relationship with Anne changed just before the beginning of the year in that she no longer sleeps at my place for one night a week plus the following morning. I now see her one morning of the week only. She has for a couple of years had a new man in her life who is understandably nervous about Anne still seeing me at all. So Anne has placated him by seeing me for only that one morning of the week. She and I do however enjoy our time together as much as we always did. It is now a very affectionate friendship rather than a relationship. We were an item for 14 years and have now been in a semi-relationship for nearly two years.

In my early days with Anne

My ex-wife Jenny has however been very supportive of me in my semi-divorced state. She and I split up a quarter of a century ago but for all the subsequent time we have kept in touch and been supportive of one another. So when Anne moved out of my life, Jenny moved back in. We now dine together frequently. She still has feelings for me but wants only a strictly platonic relationship these days. So I have ended up with two very close female friends in my life, which is pretty good. Both are former lovers so that broadens the friendships concerned.

Needless to say, however,I would like a new, more orthodox relationship and have had some attempts at initiating that since the break with Anne nearly two years ago. I got quite close to a new relationship a couple of times in that there were two ladies (JD and JH) I spent some time with. But neither lasted. I still miss JD -- below

In my younger days, when one relationship ended I would be in a new one very rapidly. For example, I had a 4-year relationship with a very nice lady named Judy before Anne and I met.

Judy

And the very day after Judy moved out, I met Anne. And I met Jenny just two weeks after my arriving back in Brisbane after my 15-year sojourn in Sydney. And at one stage in my 50s I had simultaneously three girlfriends -- all of whom knew that they were not the only one in my life. I have a rigid rule that I never lie to women -- which can get rather wonderful results. It is wonderful what women will putup with for a man they like but one thing they will very rarely put up with is being lied to.

But now that I am 78, my physical attractivesness has diminished greatly -- and that greatly inhibits the formation of new relationships. See the current me below

So I am lucky still to have two former ladies in my life as close friends. I was still pretty good even in my early 60s -- see below -- but the current me is pretty wrecked.

Things are looking up however. I do have a new lady in my life at the moment who really seems to like me. But it is early days as yet so who knows where that will go?

My first girlfriend -- way back in the 60s -- and I had a good relationship that we never really ended. She was only 16 so after around a year together we were pushed apart by her father. A couple of years after that she moved permanently to France. We kept in some contact by mail over the years however and in 2021 we began to correspond frequently. As part of that she sent me a picture of herself in the 70s that I really like. It is below. I think you can see that she was quite a gal

So we have a friendship that has endured for over 50 years, which is pretty good. It was of course a big point of our correspondence to see if we still could have congenial conversations with one another. A lot can change in 50 years so would we still get on with one-another? We did. But we also saw that we were clearly different in some ways from our old selves. An interesting thing that we realized is that we both have some autistic tendencies. That area of similarity was/is probably a major source of our original and present compatibility. I have written about my own autistic tendencies here

The other notable event for me in 2021 is that I got a dangerous visitation from stomach cancer. I lost a lot of weight and it went close to killing me but immunotherapy pulled me back from the brink and the cancer has now completely gone. Jenny was hugely supportive during my illness.

And my rehab is now just about complete. I am back to my normal sedentary self: healthy but very unfit. I still take no pills other than a nightly sleeping pill (temaz) and an occasional aspirin for a stiff neck. I rarely even take analgesics after surgery. If the plastic surgeon gets a good closure, healing should be well underway by the time the local wears off. I have also cut back my alcohol consumption -- now a very occasional glass of wine with dinner and just one whisky and dry before bed.

The COVID-related restrictions in Queensland were very mild so restricted my daily life very little. The border closures did however grievously prevent reunions with friends and family from interstate and overseas

So politics have these days made way for the personal in my life.

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Brief bio

My full name is Dr. John Joseph RAY. I am a former university teacher aged 80 at the time of writing in late 2023. I was born of Australian pioneer stock in 1943 at Innisfail in the State of Queensland in Australia. After an early education at Innisfail State Rural School and Cairns State High School, I taught myself for matriculation. I took my B.A. in Psychology from the University of Queensland in Brisbane. I then moved to Sydney (in New South Wales, Australia) and took my M.A. in psychology from the University of Sydney in 1969 and my Ph.D. from the School of Behavioural Sciences at Macquarie University in 1974. I first tutored in psychology at Macquarie University and then taught sociology at the University of NSW. I am Australian born of working class origins and British ancestry. My doctorate is in psychology but I taught mainly sociology in my 14 years as a university teacher. In High Schools I taught economics. I have taught in both traditional and "progressive" (low discipline) High Schools. Fuller biographical notes here

Notes on my early education here and here

More Background

Postings from Brisbane, Australia by John Ray (M.A.; Ph.D.) -- former member of the Australia-Soviet Friendship Society, former anarcho-capitalist and former member of the British Conservative party.

Most academics are lockstep Leftists so readers do sometimes doubt that I have the qualifications mentioned above. Photocopies of my academic and military certificates are however all viewable here

I am a born-and-bred Queenslander

Two of my ancestors were convicts so my family has been in Australia for a long time. As well as that, all four of my grandparents were born in the State where I was born and still live: Queensland. And I am even a member of the world's second-most condemned minority: WASPs (the most condemned is of course the Jews -- which may be why I tend to like Jews). So I think I am as Australian as you can get. I certainly feel that way. I like all things that are iconically Australian: meat pies, Vegemite, Henry Lawson etc. I particularly pride myself on my familiarity with the great Australian slanguage. I draw the line at Iced Vo-Vos and betting on the neddies, however. So if I cannot comment insightfully on Australian affairs, who could?

My son Joe at ANU

My wives

Marrying DNB 1973

Honeymooning at Peregian with JP 1976

Jenny in 1984

Marrying Jenny

Marrying Big Kath. 1995

I am rather pleased to report that I am a lifelong conservative. Out of intellectual curiosity, I did in my youth join organizations from right across the political spectrum so I am certainly not closed-minded and am very familiar with the full spectrum of political thinking. Nonetheless, I did not have to undergo the lurch from Left to Right that so many people undergo. At age 13 I used my pocket-money to subscribe to the "Reader's Digest" -- the main conservative organ available in small town Australia of the 1950s. I have learnt much since but am pleased and amused to note that history has since confirmed most of what I thought at that early age.

I am an army man. Although my service in the Australian army was chiefly noted for its un-notability, I DID join voluntarily in the Vietnam era, I DID reach the rank of Sergeant, and I DID volunteer for a posting in Vietnam. So I think I may be forgiven for saying something that most army men think but which most don't say because they think it is too obvious: The profession of arms is the noblest profession of all because it is the only profession where you offer to lay down your life in performing your duties. Our men fought so that people could say and think what they like but I myself always treat military men with great respect -- respect which in my view is simply their due.

The kneejerk response of the Green/Left to people who challenge them is to say that the challenger is in the pay of "Big Oil", "Big Business", "Big Pharma", "Exxon-Mobil", "The Pioneer Fund" or some other entity that they see, in their childish way, as a boogeyman. So I think it might be useful for me to point out that I have NEVER received one cent from anybody by way of support for what I write. As a retired person, I live entirely on my own investments. I do not work for anybody and I am not beholden to anybody.

I imagine that few of my readers will understand it, but I am an unabashed monarchist. And, as someone who was born and bred in a monarchy and who still lives there (i.e. Australia), that gives me no conflicts at all. In theory, one's respect for the monarchy does not depend on who wears the crown but the impeccable behaviour of the recent Queen does of course help perpetuate that respect.

I imagine that most Americans might find this rather mad -- but I believe that a constitutional Monarchy is the best form of government presently available. Can a libertarian be a Monarchist? I think so -- and prominent British libertarian Sean Gabb seems to think so too! Long live the King! (And note that Australia ranks well above the USA on the Index of Economic freedom. Heh!)

Throughout Europe there is an association between monarchism and conservatism. It is a little sad that American conservatives do not have access to that satisfaction. So even though Australia is much more distant from Europe (geographically) than the USA is, Australia is in some ways more of an outpost of Europe than America is! Mind you: Australia is not very atypical of its region. Australia lies just South of Asia -- and both Japan and Thailand have greatly respected monarchies. And the demise of the Cambodian monarchy was disastrous for Cambodia

I am the most complete atheist you can imagine. I don't believe in Karl Marx, Jesus Christ or global warming. And I also don't believe in the unhealthiness of salt, sugar and fat. How skeptical can you get? If sugar is bad we are all dead

Despite my great sympathy and respect for Christianity, I am the most complete atheist you could find. I don't even believe that the word "God" is meaningful. I am not at all original in that view, of course. Such views are particularly associated with the noted German philosopher Rudolf Carnap. Unlike Carnap, however, none of my wives have committed suicide

In my teenage years, however, I was fortunate to be immersed (literally) in a very fundamentalist Christian religion. And the heavy Bible study I did at that time left me with lessons for life that have stood me in good stead ever since

I have no hesitation in saying that the single book which has influenced me most is the New Testament. And my Scripture blog will show that I know whereof I speak. Some might conclude that I must therefore be a very confused sort of atheist but I can assure everyone that I do not feel the least bit confused. The New Testament is a lighthouse that has illumined the thinking of all sorts of men and women and I am deeply grateful that it has shone on me.

Very occasionally in my writings I make reference to the greats of analytical philosophy such as Carnap and Wittgenstein. As philosophy is a heavily Leftist discipline however, I have long awaited an attack from some philosopher accusing me of making coat-trailing references not backed by any real philosophical erudition. I suppose it is encouraging that no such attacks have eventuated but I thought that I should perhaps forestall them anyway -- by pointing out that in my younger days I did complete three full-year courses in analytical philosophy (at 3 different universities!) and that I have had papers on mainstream analytical philosophy topics published in academic journals

One of my more amusing memories is from the time when the Soviet Union still existed and I was teaching sociology in a major Australian university. On one memorable occasion, we had a representative of the Soviet Womens' organization visit us -- a stout and heavily made-up lady of mature years. When she was ushered into our conference room, she was greeted with something like adulation by the local Marxists. In question time after her talk, however, someone asked her how homosexuals were treated in the USSR. She replied: "We don't have any. That was before the revolution". The consternation and confusion that produced among my Leftist colleagues was hilarious to behold and still lives vividly in my memory. The more things change, the more they remain the same, however. In Sept. 2007 President Ahmadinejad told Columbia university that there are no homosexuals in Iran.

Some advice from Martin Luther: Esto peccator et pecca fortiter, sed fortius fide et gaude in christo qui victor est peccati, mortis et mundi: peccandum est quam diu sic sumus. Vita haec non est habitatio justitiae